The Nathaniel Centre

The Pain of an Abortion: It Can Take Years, Sometimes Decades! Stephanie Kitching

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Category: Bioethics at the Beginning of Life

Created on Monday, 09 December 2019 06:49

Last updated on Monday, 30 November -0001 00:00

Published on Monday, 09 December 2019 06:49

Written by Super User

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As a psychotherapist ministering at Catholic Social Services, I heard many different types of distressing or joyful stories over the years; stories of achievements, losses, addictions, relationships. You name it, I probably heard it. Of course, everything said in therapy remains entirely confidential, so details may not be shared.

One bunch of stories I heard were from women who had said ‘yes’ to abortion many years previously.

I do not remember any woman coming to therapy for this reason. Often, the presenting issue was depression, or loss, or relationship difficulties. Gradually, as trust grew in my relationship with the woman, she would begin to open up more freely until at last she could tell me she had had a pregnancy termination when she was younger. Then the tears would flow. I felt for her. I stayed with her emotionally and compassionately, for it was obvious to me that this was a cause of deep pain in her life and, in the words of Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?”

I understand that not all women react in this way, but there are numerous women for whom, years later, that sense of sadness becomes too much to bear. Anniversaries, such as the expected date of a live birth, become calendar dates for her, dates that prompt her to recall that her child would be turning 10, 20 or 30 that day. Questions buzz in her mind, even though she felt certain at the time and had taken time to think through her options.

There are many reasons why a termination is considered, and many of them appear valid. As Catholics, we believe all life is sacred from its conception, but what I heard as a counsellor were accounts of how societal and personal pressure often came into play when a woman found herself with an unplanned pregnancy.

Frequently, too, she found herself with no one to turn to. If she wanted to explore her options, she was afraid of being condemned by those of us who believe in the value of life.

Just as I have worked with people who have had abortions, so too have I worked with people considering whether to have one. It is a delicate dance, for it takes into account two lives. I could only offer support as a decision was reached and then again in its aftermath, whatever the decision was. In my experience, when a woman feels pressured into an abortion against her natural inclinations or beliefs, the downstream effects are long-lasting and may even be severe.

Listening to women who regretted their decision has helped me understand the difficulty of an unplanned pregnancy. Yet, I continue to believe abortion is not the best answer. It is an answer, but not the best answer. The best outcome is a supportive community response that helps the woman during her nine months of carrying this child, followed by assistance after birth.

So, when these women courageously opened up about having ended the life of a child in their womb, what could I do? First of all, I listened. For many, this was the first time they had admitted it out loud to a person who was not around at the time of the event. I was someone recognised as a ‘Church’ person who could well condemn them, but whom they hoped would hear them. That I always tried to do. I prayed for them, although not aloud, unless they requested it, which some did.

In my prayers, I always asked our loving God to hold them and their child with loving care. After some time, when the emotion had calmed, sometimes weeks later, I would ask if they wanted to say goodbye to their child, to let the spirit of that child fly free and, if they believed in God, to know that their child was safe with God. I never received a negative reply.

We would then design a small service of thanksgiving and remembrance. We would go through their memories and find words, sometimes in poetry or another’s writing, sometimes in art or photography. I would put together a small brochure if that was what was asked for, and we would choose a place to reflect on the event using the brochure or the memories. Occasionally, this was in the therapy room, at other times outdoors. Some women chose to plant a tree or flower to show life was still present. It was a healing time.

I often wished I had been present when the earlier decision was being made so I could have offered pastoral support, both emotional and practical. Maybe then I would not have found myself face to face with their suffering years later.

One question I was always left with, but never explored unless the woman broached it first, was “Where was the father of the unborn? What did he think or feel about what happened?” This still sits with me.

Stephanie Kitching (rsm) ministered as a trained psychotherapist for 12 years, mainly in Wellington. She is currently the Congregation Archivist for Nga Whaea Atawhai o Aotearoa – Sisters of Mercy NZ.

‘After-birth abortion’ a new euphemism?

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Category: Bioethics at the Beginning of Life

Created on Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:38

Last updated on Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:42

Published on Thursday, 20 December 2012 03:38

Written by Super User

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P J Cullinane

The recent claim of academics Giubilini and Minerva, made in the online Journal of Medical Ethics that the killing of new-born infants (referred to by the authors as "after-birth abortion") is permissible gives rise to many questions that should not be evaded.

Academic standards

A cluster of questions arises around standards of academic scholarship. The issue is not whether there should be academic freedom or the right to publish dissenting opinions. The issue is whether academic freedom now means that provided certain procedures are followed, 'anything goes' as to content. Do universities still insist on objective levels of achievement and an academic's ability to think clearly? Giubilini and Minerva claim that a child is not a person until he or she is capable of attributing a certain value to their own life, able to make plans for the future, and able to appreciate that they are actually alive. But the authors admit they do not "know when exactly" this occurs. The implication is that at some stage in the process of becoming aware, the baby might not yet be, or might already be, a person.

Ethically, the situation is no different from that in which the deer shooter knows that the moving object shrouded by the trees might be a person, or might be a deer. The very existence of such doubt forbids shooting it on the mere probability that it might not be a person. If a baby must first become aware in the ways Minerva and Giubilini require for it to become a person and if they don't know exactly when that occurs, then they may not condone its killing. This is basic stuff.

Power over others' lives

A further cluster of questions surrounds the implied claim that to some is given the power to decide who shall live and who shall not, for reasons which Giubilini and Minerva acknowledge need not have "anything to do with the foetus' health", as is the case with abortions. In fact, the reasons they give to justify the killing might simply be that the mother no longer has the time, money or energy to care for the baby. Others have described this claim as 'chilling', and some have observed that expecting doctors to be agents of death effectively changes their basic role of preserving life.

Giubilini and Minerva accept that adoption is an option, but say it could cause undue psychological distress to the mother. Are they not aware of all that has been happening in relation to post-abortion trauma and its long-term damage to women (and to some fathers as well)?

The real challenge

The one thing going for Giubilini and Minerva's argument is the implied and even explicit parallel with abortion. If it is acceptable to kill babies inside the womb – for other persons' reasons – then it is likewise acceptable to kill them outside the womb – for other persons' reasons. In this way they effectively, even if unintentionally, challenge a hypocritical society over how glibly it accepts abortion. They argue that killing a new-born should be permissible "in all cases where abortion is, including cases where the new-born is not disabled".

The challenge to re-examine what we are allowing in the matter of abortion is all the more timely because some of the reasons previously used to support more liberal abortion have been proved false. It is reported that in the USA

"In the years leading up to the legalisation of abortion its advocates assured everyone that legalised abortion would reduce child abuse, strengthen family-life, and improve society. But all the evidence shows that after three decades of legal abortion, all these problems have gotten worse". (Janet Morana, Address to the Pontifical Council for the Family, Vatican City, 26 March 2010)

This is hardly surprising because abortion perceived as a solution to social problems requires a certain blunting of sensitivity and of conscience due to accepting the violence involved in the dismembering of babies in the abortion process.

This brings us to the questions that need to be asked about the role of law, its present formulation in New Zealand, and the responsibilities of our law-makers. The practical interpretation of New Zealand's current laws is consistent with the USA's watershed Court decision (Roe vs Wade, 1973) which allowed abortion at any time for any reason. But the legal situation in USA has not stood still. Individual States, with acceptance by the Courts, have made many amendments corresponding to experience and to a greater recognition of human rights. For example, parental involvement laws that require parents to either be informed of, or consent to, the abortion of a minor-aged daughter before it can be performed; informed consent laws that require that women seeking abortion be given accurate information about the development of the child, the alternatives to abortion, and the risks of the procedure; foetal homicide laws that proscribe the killing of a child other than by abortion – so-called partial birth abortion; ultrasound laws that require abortionists in some States to provide the patient with an opportunity to see her unborn child by ultrasound; and an Unborn Victims of Violence Act which protects the unborn from acts of violence other than abortion.

These restrictive modifications have come about because of the increasing opposition of feminist groups who have recognised the potentially life-long harmful consequences of abortion for women. In other words, socially and politically, there has been a strong and still growing movement away from permitting abortions to stricter limits on them. It is only lack of courage among NZ politicians that leaves our laws lagging behind these developments.

It might give heart to our law-makers to learn that far from being a denominational or even religious issue, the increasing alarm and opposition to abortion is being found across a broad section of the community, and especially among young people. They may also take heart from the sciences. The biological sciences have long-since taught that the fertilised ovum is already 'a microscopic human being' even before it is implanted, and that once implanted it requires only time and nurture to develop, grow and prepare for birth – in utero it already is a separate unique human being. The medical sciences are frequently having to deal with post-abortion trauma, which in some cases does not manifest itself until years later. These are matters our elected representatives are not entitled to ignore, because looking after the well-being of all citizens, especially the more vulnerable, is part of their core business.

A consistent ethic

If persons are defined in terms of what they are capable of doing, rather than what they are, and if problems of 'time, money or energy' are sufficient reasons for killing those who are more dependent on others, then the threat to life is at both ends of our lifetime.

The threat exists also for those in between birth and death in as much as social and economic planning too easily reduces human wellbeing to just one or other aspect of well-being – e.g. one's ability to contribute to the economy. Planning based on reductionism of any kind tends in the direction of a privileged position for the strong, and a kind of Darwinian attrition of the rest. Only by recognising the sacredness of human life and the innate dignity of every person, premised on their being human, can we arrive at a consistent respect for them at every point on the spectrum between conception and natural death. There is opportunity here for parliamentarians who are interested in finding a consistent, cohesive and coherent basis for all social and economic planning.

Bishop Peter Cullinane is Emeritus Bishop of Palmerston North Diocese and a former New Zealand Catholic Bishops' Conference deputy for The Nathaniel Centre.

Footnote

¹ Giubilini, A., and F. Minerva. "After-Birth Abortion: Why Should the Baby Live?" JME Online First (2012). http://jme.bmj.com/content/early/2012/03/01/medethics-2011-100411.full.pdf+html.

[Synopsis Only] Reasons Women Seek Abortions

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Category: Bioethics at the Beginning of Life

Created on Thursday, 01 November 2018 03:12

Last updated on Thursday, 01 November 2018 03:24

Published on Thursday, 01 November 2018 03:12

Written by Super User

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Cynthia Piper

Cynthia Piper highlights the reasons why women seek abortions, something that is not often explored. Women facing an unexpected pregnancy are inevitably frightened and distraught. The prevalence of socio-economic drivers indicates the need for adequate and independent pre-decision counselling and support to empower women to make real choices.

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